So, I've been totally floundering on the revisions front. It's been a VERY long dry spell… longer than I really care to admit. And well, honestly I was beginning to worry that it would go on For-Ever.
Well, for better or for worse, I dusted off FAKING IT this last week and have dug in for what I'm calling The Last Hurrah. In the words of a good friend, it's time to finish this Bitch. (g)
The title is really more tongue and cheek than anything. I realized (for about the billionth time) that my filing system for revisions of this MS are an ever loving NIGHTMARE. I have so many versions of this and that scene…all saved on numerous USB keys, various folders…all over the dang place. I decided I HAVE to get them in order and will now be saving all of the correct versions in my Last Hurrah folder*. Just to help get it straight. (*I've got so many FINAL folders it's ridunkulous. The Last Hurrah had a go get 'em feel and also stands out amongst the other folders.) I'm in no way saying I have X number of days to finish this thing or else, so no panicking. I'm panicking enough for all of us. J
So yes…FI is back on the table. I've read through about half of it, no notes…no serious revision plans at this point. I'm just trying to get a feel for her again… I haven't even read my "outline" as I don't want to go into this with an "I have to do it this way because that was the plan" attitude. Nope, I'm just feeling her out, and seeing where she takes me.
That said, I haven't written a single word yet. In all honesty, I'm Scared To Death to write. Scared like I've never been scared before. I liken it to stage fright only much, much worse. What if I can't do it?? What if I can't write funny anymore?? What if I can't get back inside Madison's head?? And don't get me started on the guys… heck, they were hard enough for me before. What if I can't find their voices again??
What if…what if…what if?!?!?!?!
Oh how these worries—and more—have been plaguing me. But as people keep reminding me, I need to forget all of this shit and just jump back in. I'll never know if I've "still got it" if I don't let "it" out to play. If only it were that easy!
That said, I'm trying to go at this with less of a fatalistic…this is my one chance to get it right or else…mind frame. I want to have fun with my writing again and that's what I'm setting out to do. I'm going to forget all about awaiting (I hope) agents and what I THINK they'll like or not like… I'm not going to (or at least try not to) focus on the finish line. I'm going to put one word in front of another and worry about all that other bullshit when it's finished. And you know I'll worry enough for ten lifetimes when I DO get to that point. J
So…a new attitude…and a new soundtrack! LOL. I was going through my "playlist" for FAKING IT and realized something. Holy Bejesus. Most of the songs I chose focus on the low points of the book – when Madison's morale is lower than low…when she's doubting herself and everyone around her…when she thinks there's no hope. WTF. I mean, really?? That isn't the person Madison is…and though there are some low patches in this book, I need to listen to music that expresses her better. A bit of sass…a bit of snark…and dammit, a whole helluvalotta fun. Tell me this doesn't say a whole heck of a lot about Madison and Gabe…or Maddy and Drew, for that matter.
MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU by Kelly Clarkson
Or how about HANDSHAKE by Tristan Prettyman.
Listen to her, people. She's fantastic. And damn if that doesn't put me in a good mood. J
Okay, I promised Deniz a snippet of FAKING IT. I am still looking for one, and will put one up if/when I find one.
For now, happy writing…and please send all positive writing vibes my way. Jen needs to find her mojo again. J