Need A Boost?

I am a Jen with a mission this week--WRITING. Writing a lot.

I've been out of practice for a long time, so I've made a list of rules that I'm trying to adhere to.

1. I get up and go to work just like normal. My real life job requires me to arrive no later than 9am--dressed, shoes on (dang them!), the whole works. I'm sticking to these prescribed requirements this week. Yes, that means I'm not allowing myself to roll out of bed, put my hair up in a messy ponytail, and walk around all day in my pajamas. I know myself too well. If it's that easy to roll out of bed to begin writing, it's all too easy to roll right back in. At least if I'm dressed, I have to take off my shoes to do it. Just sayin'. And just like the day job--I'm trying to put in 8 hours.

2. I took this mini-vacation to write. I made a pact with myself that if I skip a day of writing, the next morning I have to go to work--the real day job. I know vacations are supposed to be relaxing times, but I've taken too many days off, promising myself I'll write, and then end up putting it off and putting it off until the vacation is over and I have nothing completed. Not going to happen this time 'round. If I want this time to write, then by God I need to earn it. That isn't going to happen if I sit around watching TV or reading. Yes, I get to do some of that, but writing has to come first. Period. (Good news is that I get to write tomorrow. We'll see about Wednesday.)

3. I'm focusing on big picture things. I'm not going to worry about every word and line being perfect. I need to get the changes I want made in place--then I can worry about the smaller things. It's difficult for me to let go of control in this way--very difficult. I always try to do my best, but right now I'm pushing through sections quickly, just trying to make sure all of the big ticket items are in place. I'll let you know how it goes.

4. JUST KEEP GOING. I may not finish my book this week, but regardless, I'm taking some huge steps toward the end. I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't get there. NO JEN BASHING ALLOWED. This probably should've been the first rule. :)

Anyway--things are going well so far. Over the last two days, I've managed to write approx. 8500 new words -- pulling together a very large chunk of the book. It feels good to know that this vacation is actually moving me closer to the finish line.

I remember reading a blog post by Maureen Johnson a while back, in which she talked about her love of Post-Its and how she always believes they are somehow going to be the key to finishing her book. Hilarious. But oh so true.

I know we all have our handy-dandy tools that we want to share with the world--like it's somehow going to be the miracle cure for finishing our books. I'm not saying this will work for anyone else, but this new little tool I've discovered is doing the job for me at the moment. It may not work next week, mind, but for now...it's FABULOUS. It's a little thing called Focus Booster. Are you a fan of using an egg timer? Well, this takes things to another level--small step up, but it's something. :)

I've found that one of the hardest things for me as a writer is the prospect of...well, sitting down in the chair and actually writing. I have a lot of hours ahead of me with this book, and sometimes when I sit down to write I feel overwhelmed. Most times I don't even make it in front of my computer. (Just being honest.) But when I do sit down, it's like I'm looking into a never ending tunnel where not even the barest pinprick of light is visible from the other end. Scary. Overwhelming. And most times I simply bow out.

Well, focus booster is helping me by breaking up my writing sessions into shorter, manageable sessions. Why do I love it?

1. You can set the length of time for each writing session. The clock ticks for the first couple of seconds, but then goes silent until the end, when an alarm clock ringer goes off. The clock overlays whatever screen you're in--you can adjust the size or hide it altogether--and when I feel like I can't make it until the end, I can look up and realize I only have X amount of minutes left. It keeps me pushing forward, stretching the writing muscles that are so, so out of shape. I set my sessions for 25 minutes, and my first day using FB, I clocked in 12 sessions. And it didn't seem overwhelming to me--not once.

2. After each writing session, the timer goes into a "break" mode. Once again, you can set it for the length of time of your choosing. When the time expires, a nice, happy doorbell chimes. It isn't the death toll--it's upbeat. It says to me, "Hey, Jen! Break time is over. Time to go back to work. Remember how it wasn't so bad last time? You can do another session!" I set my breaks for five minutes. It's enough time to get in a good stretch, go to the restroom, grab a drink, or whatever. You'd be amazed by the amount of stuff you can accomplish in that short amount of time. And if you run over, no big--the next session won't start without you hitting go.

3. The application tracks the number of sessions you've completed. Maybe you don't have time to sit down for a large lump of time. But that doesn't mean you can't make it a goal to finish X number of sessions a day. Perhaps you have to do two in the morning, one when you get home from work, and one while the kids are getting ready for bed, or what not. This allows you an easy way to track what you're doing. And if you make your writing sessions short and intense, you'd be amazed by what you can accomplish.

4. It's free! Hey, who doesn't like a free download? Just go to the link above and check it out. I love it--it's working for me. Maybe it will work for you.

Here's hoping everyone has a great writing week. :) Anyone have any other suggestions regarding what works for you?

Writing Without a Safety Net

Look Ma! No Hands! No Backup!

My mom is currently visiting. In a lot of ways my 72-year old mother is far ahead of the technology game than I am. She owned a cell phone for years before I ever felt the need for one. She knows what “blue tooth” is - something I’m still fuzzy about. She has a Mac Book, wireless internet, and a wireless mouse. She’s got a camera with a global positioning device.

When she doesn’t understand something she goes to the Genius Bar or to someone who can answer her questions. This once led to a major disaster. She let the “geeks” fix a software glitch and in the process lost all her iTunes and every single folder and album in iPhoto. Hours of laborious editing, sorting and filing of photos were gone in an instant. (Thankfully the original photos were still in the library.)

This disaster isn’t insurmountable. She can load her music back onto the computer. She can sort her photos again. But her experience has given me pause to think… when was the last time I backed up my writing?

Unlike my Mom’s experience (where her stuff can be easily found again), writing, once lost, can never quite be recovered. Yes, I can rewrite the lost scenes, but they’ll never be the same. Some will be lost forever, some might be better off lost, and some might actually improve with rewriting. But the fact remains that the work, and the words I initially recorded, are gone forever.

My method of backup is simple enough. I use Dropbox. Dropbox is ingenious. I don’t have to think about it. It’s there, doing the job. Dropbox is quietly working behind the scenes to keep my writing secure by making note of any changes to my writing in Scrivener and syncing it each time I close the program. As a secondary measure, I also export the novel, email it to myself at my gmail address and store it there under “archives.” In addition, I have an external hard drive that my Mac’s Time Machine uses.

I think I’m covered, but this wasn’t always the case. I was once in the horrible situation of having a dead computer and along with it an inaccessible Scrivener program. It was months before I figured out how to transfer the gobbledy-gook of a .scriv file (thankfully archived in my gmail account) to something Word could read. My euphoria at that moment was incredible.

The point to all this is, of course, to backup your work. You’ve heard it before. It’s one of those odious things like having a mammogram or going to the dentist. Hate doing it, but it’s good for you.

I admire my Mom immensely. She's joined the computer age even though she tells me, "I was born before all this. My brain is from a pre-computer era." Indeed. She was thirteen years old before she ever talked on a telephone! First thing we're doing tomorrow is setting up a Dropbox account for her so she can continue to play with technology without the fear of losing her treasured photos.

When’s the last time you backed up your writing? Do you have a favorite method? (I highly recommend Dropbox if you don’t have one.) If you do have a favorite backup routine, care to share?

You're Doing It Right

And now, for a boost to your fragile writer's ego. Happy weekend, everyone.

A New Attitude

Oprah says, "I geeeeeeeeet it!!!!!!"

Your girl, Tuesday, here.

If you follow me over at Random Thoughts, you know that I decided NOT to make any New Year's resolutions this year. I think Kristen pretty much nailed it in her post yesterday (today?) about how we make them and always let them fall to the wayside long before the year is up. I couldn't agree more. Some people are good at setting and making their goals. I am not. Why play the game? lol

Anyway, that said, I'm taking things one day at a time, trying to get back into the groove with FAKING IT. And guess what? It's working. For the first time in a long time, I'm rolling right along with the revisions I had imagined I'd be making months--even years--ago. I don't know what's going on exactly, but trust me, I'm not taking too much time out to ponder it. I'm just going with it, and hoping it lasts.

The best part is that I'm so fired up to keep going. In the last three days, I've worked on one particular chunk that's been giving me problems for-ever. I just couldn't seem to make it work, no matter what I tried. Well, I'm getting there. I'm making progress. No way am I saying it's perfect, but it's a solid start. I've got one more bit to get through and this chunk will be finished until I go back through for final revisions. In the end, it should weigh in at about 8-9K -- probably about 7K of that new. CRAZY.

I don't want to get all Oprah here and declare, "I geeeeeeeeet it!!!!!!" (You know, how she thought she finally knew how to keep her weight in check??) Yeah. That's not what I'm doing. At all.

I simply feel REALLY good about where I'm going with this book, and I want to share the joy. :)

So...what measures am I taking to keep going?

1. I'm making a date to write each and every day. I schedule two hours. So far, I've done more each day. But if I get two solid hours in, I'll be happy. (Some of that time IS spent playing Mahjong. I'm a procrastinator, people. And I'm out of practice when it comes to writing on a regular basis. I swear, though, it DOES help me think. And I never play for long. Honest.)

2. I'm brainstorming what I'll write the following day. Nothing real concrete, but just a general idea of where I want to head. Right now, for instance, I know exactly WHAT I want to happen to finish off the scene I'm working on.. I'm just not sure HOW I'm going to accomplish it. Hopefully by having it in my head that I need to write it tomorrow, I'll be able to come up with something during the interim. Chances are I won't, and it will all happen during the writing process...but whatever. I think my brain is working on it on a subconscious level.

3. I'm not letting all the end game stuff into my head this time 'round. No thoughts (or at least I'm trying) about what happens when I finish. No thoughts about how much more I have to do in order to finish. No thoughts about 'what happens next' at all. I'm just taking things one day at a time. You. Would. Not. Believe. how much stress this has taken off of me. It's unbelievable. I know there will be times my thoughts will stray to the 'what if's' of the future, but honestly, there's nothing I can do about what happens tomorrow. I can't predict it. I can't control it. I hold no sway over it whatsoever. The only thing I have full control over is the book I write today. And I'm going to try to make it the best damn book I can.

4. I'm taking time to read each and every day. Even if it's just 15 minutes. I need to charge my brain with words.

And that's really about it. I haven't moved all of my files over to Scrivener yet. It was taking too much time, so I'll move them over as I go. I didn't want to be standing still during the time it would take me to do all of that work. Bugger it, I say. LOL. I'm putting my new scenes in, and will fill in the rest as I go.

Anyway -- that's where I'm at. And I'm loving it. :)

A small tidbit from the new stuff:

Gabe moved around his kitchen with an ease and familiarity that had me absolutely fascinated. At least, that’s the reason I gave myself for why I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away from him. The reality was that like the gravitational pull of the sun, his ass held me captive. No matter where I looked or what I tried to do to distract myself, that’s where my gaze always landed.

Happy writing, everyone!



Oprah says, "I don't think she gets it at all."

Make A Date!

Your girl, Tuesday here. Sorry for my radio silence! Things have been a bit nutty on my end.

1. I've been really sick. Long story, gross details that I know you don't want to hear, but suffice it to say I haven't really been up to snuff for a good week now. I'm hoping I'm coming out of it, but I'm not really sure yet. LOL.

2. I have family in town. Staying with me, in fact, and my life has been turned a bit topsy-turvy for the week.

Sick+family+writing=NOT HAPPENING.

I've been sitting at the same word count for a good 8 days now. Bah. NO GOOD. But as I told the ladies, I'm just happy to be writing. Sure, I wanted to hit that 50K, but I knew it was a serious outside shot when I began. That said, I'm happy with what I have... still hope to get some quality words in before it ends, and yeah... writing is what counts, and NANO definitely got me tapping the keys again.

One thing I'm taking away from this entire thing is that scheduling writing time really does work. I know, DUH, but how many of us sit down to write and get distracted by a million outside things going on around us? I know I always have the best of intentions, but yeah.. I try to multi-task. Stop to throw a load of laundry in... do the dishes... take that quick phone call or write that short email. Do enough of those small things and your writing time has suddenly gone POOF before you have any words accomplished.

Well, I LOVED the write-ins I attended during Nano. Why? Because I knew with 100% certainty that for those specific four hour blocks of time that writing was the ONLY thing on my docket. And for whatever reason--be it the energy of sitting in the room with a group of writers, or be it the fact that there weren't any other distractions around me--I got my ass in gear the moment I sat down in front of the keyboard. There was no meandering around trying to "warm up" with a few hands of solitaire or my personal favorite, Mahjong. No, I simply sat down and started writing. And I kept writing -- the entire time.

Sure, I clock watched at times. "Oh hell... I still have two hours to go?? What can I possibly write next?" But the fact is, knowing I had set aside that specific amount of time helped me to keep things on track. And when things got REALLY tough, I could say to myself... you only have such and such minutes left. You can pull this out.

So yeah, even after Nano ends, I plan on scheduling little personal write-ins -- somewhere away from home, somewhere that makes it "formal." If I have to block time to trick myself into writing, by golly I'll do it.

What about you? What are you taking away from Nano?

This juggling life ...

How does one juggle writing and life?

Do the great writers set aside their pens without complaint whenever life intervenes? Or do they shut out the world and allow nothing to come between them and their writing?

Since I made a pact with myself to (mostly) treat my writing as if it were my real, proper, paid job, and to write every day, I have become a lot more ruthless in protecting my writing time. There are a couple of things that are now non-negotiable when it comes to my writing:

1. No one enters my study, under pain of death. I’ve made it known to all and sundry in my house that when the study door is shut, no one may enter unless they’re bleeding, or on fire, or a crazy combination of both.

2. I also screen my calls. For me to get any writing done, this is an absolute must. I think I am right in believing that writers are not only good observers of human behaviour, but are also good listeners – which is great, and feeds the writing, but can also be a major time suck if it gets out of control. So, when the phone rings I let the answering machine take the call and only pick up if it’s an emergency. Thankfully, there hasn’t ever been one of them yet.

But then life comes along and makes it hard to stick to these habits. I’m thinking of this because me and the tribe are off for a three day break this week, and I’m torn by the want – the need – to take the laptop and keep up with my writing - knowing there’s a risk I’ll lose my way in my revisions if I don’t - while at the same time wanting to be totally “there” with the husband and kids.

I’m feeling guilty, basically.

Do you? How do you protect your writing time in the face of obligations to family, friends?

How do you find that elusive balance?

Can’t Do It

Inevitably it happens. I’m driving my car, walking the dog, or drifting off to sleep in my bed when the words come, fluid and elegant, perfect. And I’m nowhere near my computer. I can only hope that if I repeat them enough in my head, I’ll be able to get to my computer on time and get the words down. Of course, this never happens. Sure I’ll get the gist of it, but it is never as perfect as when I first thought of them.

The obvious solution –as pointed out to me by my husband and friends- is to get a Dictaphone. Hell, I have a recorder on my phone! It even has this cute little fifties style microphone icon that pops up on the screen. But I just can’t do it. I hate my voice. HATE IT. Every time I try, my tongue swells in my mouth, my lips feel too small. I end up with an unintelligible muffle of words. Bah!

I should get over it. I should! But I just can’t do it.

Meeting Your Muse

Hesiod and the Muse, by Gustave Moreau

"Sing to me of the man, Muse,
the man of twists and turns,
driven time and again off course,
once he had plundered
the hallowed heights of Troy."

- Homer, The Odyssey

Homer’s plea to his Muse could be mine. I meet my Muse and wait for her to whisper the story of Nathan Rivers, a man of twists and turns, a man driven from his course time and again.

In Homer’s day the Nine Muses -- sister-goddesses and the daughters of Zeus -- were believed to inspire artists, musicians, writers, and scientists. To be blessed with the attentions of a Muse was to be inspired to create. They held the keys to inspiration and knowledge.

Dante pleads, “O Muses, O high genius, aid me now!”

Shakespeare wrote, “O for a Muse of fire that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention…”

This could be the plea of every writer, everywhere, although nowadays most of us believe the Muse comes from within ourselves rather than from a Greek goddess in a flowing toga. Still, it’s reassuring to know that even the great Masters of storytelling cried out for inspiration.

Is it any wonder that we all cry out for inspiration, for that ethereal, fragile-as-smoke essence that moves us to write? Where does it come from? The Greeks had their answer. If I had an answer today I could market it and retire wealthy.

In reality, the answer is probably different for every one of us - as it should be. What a boring world this would be if we were all inspired by the same things! So what’s a writer to do to nurture her Muse?

My answer is boringly simple: meet your Muse at an appointed hour. Make an appointment with her. And keep it.

Will she show up? Muses, as you might already know, are fickle. Yours may not show up right away, or she may show up with an attitude. Can you blame her? You’ve summoned her expecting great things from her, but you’ve barely given her the time of day. You’ve stood her up, been a no-show, pushed her aside for something else.

After a groveling apology to your Muse, agree on a time to meet and stick to it. Eventually she’ll begin to talk to you. (Maybe she’s been talking all along, you’ve just not been around to hear it.) If you show up at your writing spot on a regular schedule, your Muse will too.

The most successfully prolific writers will tell you that writing is a commitment. It’s an act of will, something they do whether or not they feel like writing that day. Most agree that having a schedule, a closed door, and a word-count or page-count goal is the driving force behind their success.

What does this have to do with Muses, you muse? Just this: your Muse will love you for your commitment, your closed door, your page-count goals. She’ll arrive at the appointed time ready to work. Don’t disappoint her.

The Muses, by Eustache Le Sueur

Mixing It Up

School holidays are upon me once again. Three weeks of the kids at home, starting today, and as usual I’m stressing about how on earth I’m going to find time to write.

I’m really rolling along with revisions, and I don’t want to lose that momentum; therefore, I simply have to find some time to write, every single day. But how to do this, when the house is over run by kids?

In theory, my children are old enough to keep themselves entertained and out of mischief for at least an hour; on a good day, maybe even two. But there’s always something … like tonight, for example. In the forty-five minutes since I arrived home from the school run, Child #1 tracked mud all over the floor, requiring a major mop up (played soccer at school today and brought half the field home with him, by the looks of it); then Child #2 let out a blood curdling scream and I went running, heart in my mouth, expecting to find a broken limb at the very least - erm, nope, he was fine, but the battered, seven year old Mac notebook he’d been using finally died, is all. And not to be outdone, Miss Five promptly squirted herself in the eye with mandarin juice while attempting to peel one. Sigh.

So, yeah, how to do this? I’ve got to mix things up a little, is how. Writing at night is out. I wish I could, but by the time the last of the little darlings hits the hay I’m usually far too exhausted to even think about my book. Which leaves me with mornings … early mornings. Very early mornings - like hitting the desk by 7am, mornings. Blech.

But I have to do it. If I don’t, my story will drift loose from its moorings in my mind, and I know from experience it’s a long, hard row to bring it back to shore. So for the next three weeks I’ll be up and at ’em to squeeze in my daily exercise (groan) and then lock myself in the study for as long as I can. I’ll have to do a deal with the kids – unless the house is on fire or someone is bleeding, leave mum alone until 9am and then I’m all theirs – and I might have to bribe Child #1 to make breakfast for Miss Five (the promise of a shopping spree at Borders should be sufficient motivation for my book-addicted son!) But that’s the plan, and I think it’ll work - but any other suggestions would be much appreciated!

Wish me luck. I’ll let you know how the early morning writing-fests go; and I’ll try to ignore the dark, and the 4C temperatures, as I write!

Jen’s Seven Tips

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about how I was taking up running. Well, that plan got a bit derailed as I became extremely sick after my birthday party. Some might say I imbibed a bit too much, but whatever. J It was me birthday and I was determined to have a good time. I did.

That said, I did have to postpone the start of my "run two miles in eight weeks" program that I handily picked up on the internet. I'm all about programs and this one seems fairly easy to follow. If anyone is interested, here's the link.

So, though I am a bit late, I did get started this week. The first couple of days should be fairly easy – walking. Who can't walk for thirty minutes? Granted, I decided to take my dogs on this first go round, which probably wasn't the wisest decision. Two terriers in search of various scents that jerk their owner this way and that isn't exactly the best way to raise the heart rate. Not when you're stopping every other minute so one can lift a leg to a tree or a particularly good patch of grass. But I digress.

On this runner's site, they had a link to a handy dandy list of "seven steps to successful weight loss." I've got a bit of insomnia this morning, so I was clicking around, reading this and that. This list really struck me for some reason. Oh, I've heard all these things before… but for some reason, it brought on a bit of inspiration for today's post. I've decided to do a writing version.

Therefore, may I present Jen's Seven Steps to A Successful Writing Career.

Ahem, I say this like I've reached some level of success. But notwithstanding my amateur ranking in this particular field, I do think these steps are great things to keep in mind.

1. Be Accountable. Oh how this one hurts. It hurts because it hits right to the core of things. The truth is, if you haven't finished that book you've been meaning to write for the past 5 years… if you've been stuck at the same road block for however long… IT IS YOUR FAULT. Oh ouch. Yeah. Not pleasant, eh? But unfortunately, it's true. We can go on making excuses, but in the end, WE are the ones in control of our own lives. If we really want to write, by God we'll find a way to do it. Making excuses, blaming our busy lives for getting in the way… well, in the end, that's never going to get you to where you want to go. Stop making excuses and get the job done.
   
2. Take Control. Be proactive rather than reactive. I think it's very easy to let a bad day convince us that we don't need to write. Heck, isn't it so much easier to go read a book written by someone else than it is to slave over our own writing? Especially when you're tired…you've had a bad day…you're maybe not feeling particularly enthusiastic over your chances of ever finishing…becoming published…getting that stellar agent you want. I mean, I know the last thing I want to do after receiving a particularly harsh rejection from someone I REALLY wanted, is to write. In fact, I usually feel like complete poo when that happens. But the reality is that we're all going to run up against stumbling blocks that life throws in our way. We can choose to wallow in self-doubt and inactivity…or we can get our butts in chair and make things happen.
   
3. Be Flexible. Sometimes I think we get really caught up in the whole idea that we must write this many words/pages…whatever.. each day and that if we come up short, WE HAVE FAILED. Well, poo. I've been caught up in this cycle many a time…and I have to say that although I can stick to a strict regimen for a while, I usually burn out after a short period of time. In a way, writing starts to become more of a chore when I know I MUST sit down and produce X amount of words. Sometimes, it just ain't gonna happen, no matter what I do to coax myself. That's okay. Perhaps I would be better off spending time away from my writing…doing research…reading a good book that might light the creative fire again… Just because I take a day off, doesn't mean I can't work towards my goal in another way.
   
4. Be Consistent. This follows straight from number three. While sometimes we must be flexible in our writing schedules, we must also TRY to be consistent in our work habits. Writing is like any other muscle. If we lay off exercise for a day or two, we're likely going to be able to get right back into our routine with relatively little trouble. Take a couple of weeks off, though, and I'm betting it's going to hurt a lot when you try to get back in the groove. You may not even be able to do it right off. Therefore, it's more important that you try to come to work every day…even if only for a short period of time. It keeps your writing muscles well maintained and ready for the long haul.
   
5. Do It Now. Oh how this rule hits home with me. How many times have you told yourself: This week isn't really a good week to get back to my wip. I have so much going on… I won't be able to REALLY devote myself to it the way I want. Perhaps it would be better to start next week instead. *rolls eyes* I can't tell you the number of times I've been through this song and dance with myself. Well, folks. It's CRAP. All of it. There will never be a "good" time to squeeze in your writing – especially with the busy lives we all lead. Stop making excuses and realize that even small, baby steps are better than no steps at all. Stop putting things off. Get off your keister (or in this case…get your keister into a chair) and start writing now.
   
6. Think Long Term. A book is not going to write itself overnight. There is the first draft…there is the second draft… there are numerous rounds of revisions. Then there's finding an agent and which means the whole process begins all over again. And then there's finding an editor which brings on another round of massive changes. Writing a book is not an overnight thing. Get out of that mind frame of "I have to get this done within the next year" and all that other BS we tell ourselves. Publishing is a SLOW industry… enjoy the ride. It's going to be a long one.
   
7. Set Reasonable Goals. This again, follows from the above rule. Be honest with yourself about how much you can get done in any period of time. Perhaps you can spew out 5K of pure awesomeness every day. YAY for you. Most of us, however, can't do that. And pushing ourselves to match that kind of productivity just might burn us out or get us shipped off to the loony bin. Be reasonable when you set your goals. Maybe you can only manage a page or two a day. But if you're consistent with that page or two a day, just think how quickly you'll get to the end. It's okay to go at a slow and steady pace. Remember the turtle and the rabbit. J
   

Okay…that's what I've got for today. These running analogies just never get old with me. What other tips do you have?

 

 

 

If You Wanna Run...

...first you have to learn to walk.

I'm running (pun totally intended) a bit behind today. Sorry for the late post! I'm still sick, which means I have about zero energy for much of anything. Of course, this doesn't explain why I felt the need to clean my bathroom at 11PM last night. Let me tell you, when you find yourself scrubbing your bathtub at midnight, it's time for a vacation.

Anyway, I wanted to talk a bit about where my writing is today. To be blunt, it's NOWHERE. I've been off track for so long, I'm not even sure I know how to find the track anymore, let alone run the dang thing. The very idea of sitting down and even reading through my manuscript is very scary at this point. I'm afraid of what I'll find. I'm afraid it will be utter and total crap. That it's completely unsalvagable.

Even worse, maybe it won't be that bad...but I won't know how to write anymore. Perhaps I'm too out of touch with Madison... perhaps I'll never be able to get into Gabe's or Drew's head again... perhaps It's just been TOO long.

Well, all this could be true. Or it could all be in my head. Only time will tell.

So, where does the running/walking analogy come in? Well, I have to tell ya...I'm a quandry to myself sometimes. I've decided to take up running. It's weird how your body works. Get diagnosed and treated for diabetes and WHAM you have all kinds o' energy to burn. Funny how that works, eh?

I love walking--I walk 2-3 miles a day, minimum, but I find it's never really enough anymore. My body wants speed...it wants to burn up the pavement. So yeah, I'm starting a running program that's meant to get you running at least 2 miles in 8 weeks. Slow and steady...and hopefully nowhere near the point I'll want to cough up a lung or keel over from lack of oxygen.

It's funny, though... I've never been a runner. In fact, I hated it back in junior high, when I was actually required to do exercise. And yes, it's been THAT long since I've done any distance kind of running. And even then, it was only about a mile. So, why in the world would I want to do it now? Why in the world would I think I could start this many years later...at my age (cough, 28)...when I've never really DONE it before?

That's one for the stars...but the thing is, it's not impossible. And with this slow and steady program, I'll build some endurance...ease into the whole distance thing at a reasonable pace. And heck, the program isn't set in stone. If I need to slow it down a bit, I can...if I find I'm way ahead of the running game, I can speed it up.

So, why, I'm asking myself...can't I look at writing like this? Why do I have to run a marathon my first week back on the track? Maybe instead, I can start with some warm-ups. Maybe a test lap to see how I do. If that's too much, I can drop down to a walk... Or maybe call it a day early and come back tomorrow.

The most important thing is that I show up and try each day.

It's always easy to say, isn't it? But yeah, I have to get back on the track. To be frank, I'm pretty tired of sitting on the sidelines.

Happy writing, everyone. I think I'll start off with a half hour tonight. See how it goes.

Tool time

You know how this time, last week, my kids were back in school and I was raring to get stuck into my writing?

Hmmm.

Things haven’t exactly gone to plan. Granted, Wednesday through Friday I got words down and I revised a few scenes (and killed some of my darlings in the process) … but then my five year old daughter got sick. Was sick all weekend, and hasn’t made it to school at all this week. Nothing serious, thank goodness – just a mild gastro, followed by a head cold and sore throat – but it’s lingering, and she’s not a patient patient, my daughter. Lots of wailing and diva-worthy demands and gnashing of teeth ensue when Miss I-HATE-To-Sit-Still-And-Rest is ill. Sigh.

Of course, I haven’t worked on my book for days (and it’s taken three days of stop-start typing to even get this post done!). I have that horrible, churning feeling in my gut that always attacks me when I’m away from my book too long. But I’ve managed to stamp on the fully-fledged panic, that terror that I simply won’t be able to get back on track with my writing. After all, I’ve had long breaks from my writing before, and have managed to get back on the horse every time …

But I’m realistic. I have no doubt that despite my cautious confidence, I’ll still be sweating bullets that first time I sit back down to write. So, while I wait for my daughter to get better, I’ve been going through my toolbox, sharpening up the tools I’ve acquired over the last four years of serious writing, ones that I know will help me break through this stall without too much pain …

1. Ease in gently. At first, I won’t write anything. I’ll just edit – fix typos, insert commas, change colons to semi colons … the easy-peasy stuff I actually find very soothing because it’s not really writing, and thus, there’s no pressure. This duping of myself always does the trick; after a few minutes of editing the ideas start to flow, I ease back into the work and before I know it I’m writing whole new scenes. It’s like when I was a kid, and finally mastered the art of riding a two-wheel bike; all that concentration on the minutiae of the process - the pedaling, the steering, the ringing of the bell - and then, without realizing it, dad had let go and I was doing it all by myself. Sweet.

2. Write longhand. For whatever reason, when I sit down to write on my Mac, it’s Serious Business - if I’m typing, I MUST produce something solid and polished and good. Somehow, the way my brain works, this rule – this self-imposed pressure - doesn’t seem to apply when I write longhand. So I know I can break through any performance anxiety if I allow myself a few minutes of brainstorming in long hand before writing – bullet points and arrows and crossing out and asterisks and underlining with different coloured pens and highlighters … all this serves to quell my nerves and unlock my creativity.

3. Move out. If I relocate from my study to a café or the library, or even just to another room in the house, again, the pressure is off. If I’m not in my “office”, then it doesn’t matter whether what I write is good or bad. I know, I know - I’m a head case, but it works for me.

4. Write a “to do” list. Something I do at the end of each writing session is take a few minutes to jot down notes about what I need to do next. It’s kind of like leaving myself a breadcrumb trail for the next time I work on my manuscript. Opening up my manuscript file, I see (thank God!) I’ve left myself the following list of things to do next:

Tidy end of scene four then add to master file.

Start scene five “Garret murder” using notes saved in Draft 2 folder.

Work on outline of Isabel and Louise scene.

This makes taking up where I left off so much easier.

5. Leave a hook. Looking at my manuscript again, I see I finished my last writing session by leaving myself a “hook”. This is what this "hook" looks like:-

THEN PHILIPPE – DESCENDING STEPS OF JOFFRIN MANSION - WATCHING ISABAEL HUG OLD MAN, THEN SHE IS HANDED UP TO COACH. KNIFE STILL SNUG IN HIS BOOT. HE TOUCHES HIS POCKET, FEELING FOR THE ITEM THAT FELL TO THE FLOOR – HER SCALPEL. HE HAS FOUND HER. HIS [NAME OF THE TWO PICTURES] – DEATH AND BRINGER OF LIFE – KERNEL OF A PLAN IS FORMING.

Leaving off writing in the middle of a sentence or a paragraph - or, in this example, where I’d actually completed a scene by the time I had to stop writing, by jotting down a few thoughts and images for my next scene (I’ll also often leave myself a messy few lines of description or random dialogue, if that’s what’s coming through loudest) means I’ve left myself a hook to grab on to, next time I work on my book. I don’t have to sit there, trying to start a scene from absolute scratch. Having words already on the screen, no matter how little or how sketchy, means I always start with something ready to work with. Much less intimidating than facing a blank page and a blinking cursor.

So, these are the tools I hope will get me back into writing mode. I say "hope" – as I said, I’ll be a bundle of nerves until I’ve actually done the writing. But at least I won’t be completely paralysed by full-blown, creativity crushing, panic; that requires a jack-hammer to break through it, and I don’t have one of them in my tool box. Well, not yet.

How do you all start writing again, after you’ve stalled?

Project management

This week is another of those where all your contributors are thinking similar things. This post is a perfect lead-on from what Rachel had to say yesterday, because we're struggling with an identical problem- an inability to get words on the page while simultaneously wrangling the small people in our lives. Like Rachel, I just can't concentrate while my daughter is around- and since she's only 17 months old, she's always around. So, I've been thinking on this recently, and I had a little epiphany this week. For me, it's not so much about finding/ making the time to write as it is about the process of what to tackle when I actually do get that rare time.

So- Jen has regaled you with her legal knowledge, and now it's my turn to lay out a few lessons from the line of work I’ve been in for the last six years- project management.

I took a small sidestep out of ordinary archaeology work when I was employed at a small consultancy business back in 2004. The workload was heavy, and in order to keep things under control, staff were given project management responsibility over their own work. I’d had little to do with project management principles while studying or in any previous employment, and initially I was a tad bamboozled. What was the difference between a milestone and an objective? What about a goal and an aim?

But very quickly, I realized I’d been using PM principles since the first homework assignment I’d had to finish for high school. It’s very simple, really. You want to get something done, so you look at what steps are necessary, how long they’ll take, and what might get in the way. You make a realistic assessment of what you can achieve in a given time, and if you follow all the steps, in theory you ought to have a finished project on your hands within a specific timeframe.

At work, this is something I excel at. I can juggle dozens of projects, staff, budgets, you name it. I can meet deadlines without breaking a sweat. As the work comes in, the work gets done.
So why, why, why am I having so much trouble with the biggest single project I’ve ever undertaken- my writing?

I think it’s because I’ve failed to view it as a project, and as a result I’ve failed to utilize one of the best tools of the project management trade: the SMART approach to goal-setting.

Here’s what SMART means:

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Relevant
Time-limited

The idea is, you take your project. In this case, it’s writing a novel called BETWEEN THE LINES. You can start with a deadline and fit your milestones into that framework, but since at this point I’m unclear about how long it’ll take me (except for the fact that it will never, ever be finished if I keep going like this), I need to start instead with what I need to do to get it done, and then I’ll tie in some timeframes after I’ve got those milestones.

So. I have my project. I have my long-term goal: to finish writing BETWEEN THE LINES and submit it to an agent for representation, and publication.

What has to happen between what I have now (a complete but unusable first draft, and an extensive outline for the next) and where I’m heading (a fabulous, Booker Prize-winning first novel by outstanding new Australian author Claire Gregory)?

The answer is, obviously, just write. All the project planning in the world won’t change the fact that to get a finished book, you must get words on the page.

But at the moment, “just write” goes a little like this for me. I sit down with my laptop, and I open up my writing file. I read through what I wrote last time. It looks good. I’m inspired. I think I know where I want to go next. I raise my hands to type aaaaand… another pair of little hands pops up and starts hammering my keyboard. The result looks a little like this:

Pppp000001924{{[[[[[[////

And it’s not going to win a Booker prize.

I detach my daughter from the keyboard, find her something more entertaining to play with, and go back. I re-read what I’d just read earlier. It’s still good. But this time I can hear the child off in the other room, bothering the dog. The dog’s in a bad mood and she’s growly. I have to go rescue the kid before she gets her face removed, so I go do that, kick the dog out, and give up on writing for the day. At this point in time all I can focus on is finger-painting, anyway. My concentration is shot.

Later that evening, the husband is home. I go into the study and close the door, looking for a little peace and quiet. It’s nice and quiet in there, but I also have to remove a veritable archaeological deposit of paperwork, laundry, books, confiscated toys, you name it, off the desk before I can even sit down. It’s serving as a junk room at the moment.

Once I’ve done that, I open up the file, re-read the previous stuff. It doesn’t seem quite as brilliant on the third read through, but it’ll do. I lift my hands to type, aaaand… BAM BAM BAM! I close my eyes and curse whoever taught my daughter to bang on doors for attention. It was probably me. Dad comes and removes her, but she knows her mama is locked away in there, and she wants in. She throws a big fussy tantrum, which I try to ignore, but really- my head is just not in 1914 right now. It’s listening to the battle royale in the hallway.

I give up for now. Half an hour later, she’s asleep in bed, and I have time to… write? Nope. I have time to sit on the couch and take a breath for the first time that day. I get to have a rare conversation with my husband. I get to have a glass of wine and watch an episode of Bones. And then I get to go collapse in bed and sleep. Precious, precious sleep. I don’t want to write. I’m too tired.

So, what’s the solution to this fairly significant problem? I know that if I get some time to sit and write in peace, I have a very fast work-rate. I can crank out 2500 words in three hours, no problem.

There's no point fighting this internal battle every day, getting nowhere. The solution is simple- I need to set aside three hours each week, not in the evening, and go somewhere else to write. The library is my best bet. I figured that out last year, and I still haven’t done it yet. Why? Because last year I set myself the task of “go to the library to write”, and I didn’t make it SMART.

A SMART version of the same goal would be:

Write at the library from 3pm to 6pm each Saturday.

Which is awesome- it’s specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-limited. But it’s enough- it’s not a goal in and of itself. It’s a contributing step in the larger goal, and it needs to be framed by something more specific. Which is this:

1. Complete all 1914- 1920 scenes (c. 30000 words) by May 31st, 2010
2. Complete all 1920- 1939 scenes (c. 15000 words) by July 31st, 2010
3. Complete all Jared 1940 scenes (c. 15000 words) by September 30th, 2010
4. Complete all Bill 1940 scenes (c. 40000 words) by March 31st, 2011
5. Complete revision of draft and query letter by June 30th, 2011, ready for submission to agents.

There. Nice, solid, specific, time-limited goals.

I’m going to back it up with a process for each of those sections- tasks that I need to undertake within each quarter.

First, a quick plan of the scenes I need to write.
Second, within each scene, a quick plan of what’s going to happen.
Third, time to write. One chapter each week should achieve the above plan.

And I’m not going to threaten myself with what I’ll do if I miss these- if I miss the first one, I’ll assess and review the rest based on what I’m able to manage, and I’ll extend the timeframes if necessary. I’m not going to give myself incentives or punishments. I’m not quitting smoking here- I’m undertaking a project that I created, and the only person it matters to directly is me.

The most important question of all when it comes to writing is, why do you want to do this?

If the answer is just to see if you can, or because you love the process, then you don’t need to set strict goals for yourself. The enjoyment is in the process.

But if the answer is because you want to see your work published, then you need to set yourself some concrete goals and treat this as more than a hobby. Not necessarily as a job- but absolutely as a project that requires strong management.

For the longest time, I was writing solely because I enjoyed it, and though I did want to finish the story, I didn’t really care about the end of the process. But these days, my priorities have shifted. As the story evolves and grows, I know more and more that I want to see it in print. I feel like what I have to say is worth sharing. And that means I have a new goal which, combined with some extreme challenges in my life (namely: a toddler), needs clearly set steps and timeframes to complete.

Last of all- I know there are those of you out there who’ll be having a heart attack at the idea of subjecting your creative process to such rigorous planning. But when it comes to actually putting words on the page, that’s where the magic happens. No amount of planning can influence what you write. The purpose of the planning is simply to bulldoze your way to having enough time to write, and making sure that limited time is maximized to create a real direction. And if you’re not heading towards a goal, then you’re just idling in the car park.

A saying that has always resonated with me is this: if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

It’s time for a change.

Sacrificing my rituals

[E.T.A: Kristen sends her apologies for Monday; she was laid up with a monster of a headache, which was highly incompatible with trying to blog. Here's hoping she feels better real soon!]

Here I am again, half way through the second week of school holidays and I’m starting to get all twitchy because the invasion of children (I have six of them in my house today!) means I have no time to write. At all.

I’m frustrated with myself for feeling this way. My eldest is in his seventh year of school; by now, I should be well used to the fact that school holidays always put a big old dent in my writing. So I’m trying to go with the flow, to work on being calm and serene and accepting, and to ignore the clawing panic in my gut that I’m losing my grip on the beast that is my WIP.

And yet I still wonder why I find it so hard to write a single word of my book when the kids are at home.

After all, my boys are pretty good; they understand that when mum is writing, it’ll be just for an hour or so, and then I’m all theirs …and really, with their PS3 and their computers and scooters and trampoline and the hordes of other kids in the street who are in and out of our place all day, they’re not overly devastated about not spending every waking moment with their mother.

But then there’s my five year old. She point-blank refuses to accept that when I close my study door, it is NOT to be opened unless the house is on fire or someone is spurting blood. Just doesn’t want to know about it.

I once heard a writer, a mother of four who worked from home and was sick of the constant interruptions, describe how she taped a big strip of black duct tape to the threshold of her study, looked each kid in the eye and told them if anyone dared cross it while she was working the punishment would be instant, agonizing, death. A little extreme, perhaps … but it worked. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and all that. But even that wouldn’t work on my hugely stubborn Miss I-Am-The-Centre-Of-The-Universe-And-Beyond daughter.

And here’s where the guilt kicks in. She’s only five. Shouldn’t she be able to interrupt me to ask how to spell “paragon” if she so chooses? (she’s in the middle of a word and spelling explosion, and writing the word “paragon” exactly right was her obsession all Monday.)

And here’s where the small kernel that is just me, not a mum or a wife or anything but the person I once was before the children arrived, kicks back … heavens above, surely it’s not asking too much to be allowed an hour, half an hour, heck, fifteen minutes, to write? To do something just for me?

But I know that interrupting offspring and mother-guilt are only part of the reason why I can’t write with the kids at home. Because it all boils down to the fact that a houseful of kids messes with my writing rituals.

I know we all have them. The boiling of the kettle, the selecting of the right coloured pen, the pouring of the glass of wine, the organizing of the desk, one last look at Facebook … these rituals are the last line of procrastination we writers allow ourselves before biting the bullet and getting down to the business of writing. And I think in some way, going through these routines helps to neutralise the anxiety we feel (OK, I feel) in the lead up to the act of writing.

But even more than that, I think these rituals help us make that mental shift from the day-in, day-out stuff that occupies our brain, into the creative mode we need to access in order to write. Kind of like flipping on a switch. And having the kids home is short-circuiting my fuses.

Not that my writing rituals involve anything unfit for young eyes. I don’t sacrifice small animals to the writing gods or write in the nude whilst swigging champagne straight from the bottle. In fact, most of my rituals can be easily done with the kids at home – the making of the cup of tea, the selecting of the perfect biscuit (and by that I mean cookie, for you American types) to go with my tea, the choosing of the music that best suits whatever I am about to write, the kicking off of my shoes (for whatever reason, I find it near impossible to write unless I’m barefooted. Go figure.)

No, the main problem is that I’ve grown used to writing in silence. When I sit down to write I turn off the phone and I disable my email alert, so that the only sound I hear as I tap away at the keyboard is my music, turned down really, really, low. So of course, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I find it impossible to write to the sound of screeches and shouting and kids pounding up and down stairs and doors slamming and balls thudding against walls and the Sponge Bob Square Pants song turned up to ten and the plastic cascade of a whole tub of Lego being emptied on a bedroom floor.

Therein lies the problem. My writing ritual is incompatible with school holidays. And even headphones don’t solve the problem, because then I just obsess about what the heck the little blighters are up to when I can’t hear them …

So I’ll just have to continue cultivating a Zen state of mind, and then unleash a torrent of words when the darlings go back to school next week!

So, what about you? My writing rituals aren’t particularly exotic. Diana Gabaldon has said she lights a candle before each writing session. Sarah Waters (the author of several fantastic novels including The Little Stranger, reviewed here by Jen) confesses to wearing the same clothes through the life of a book, the same loose cardigan and track pants which become so tea and crumb stained that by the end of the book they almost stand up on their own. Monica McInerney, an Australian author, has said she had to wear a particular shade of lipstick (bright pink, if I remember correctly) when writing a particular character. And Agatha Christie warmed up her muse by eating apples in the bathtub.

So we all have our quirks. Which means it’s time to fess up – what are your writing rituals? And just how strange are they?

Trimming the Fat

Howdy All -- Again I apologize for not having another copyright post ready. I have a feeling those copyright notes are wedged between two piles of notes that have absolutely nothing to do with the copyright seminar I took, and said notes are somewhere in my family's basement... Cuz man, I'm having trouble locating them.

They could also be on one of my many USB keys...labeled incorrectly. *scratches head* Yeah, this is a tough one. I'll find them, tho. When I have a bit more time to look. So don't give up on me quite yet...I'll get back on topic soon.

If you didn't know already, I work a crap ton of hours every week. And I mean A Crap Ton. I average anywhere from 65-80... usually hovering right around 70-75. It isn't much fun and I finally had to admit to myself that it's really negatively impacting my writing. But in all honesty, what can you do about it all when your rent is due and Mr. Visa (the jerk) wants his money? I'll tell ya, not a whole lot.

On top of that, I have obligations to family....obligations to Compu...obligations to this and that. Quite frankly, my writing always comes dead last. And when I do find a chunk of time, writing is usually the last thing I want to do. Mostly because I'm too exhausted to think about it. I believe it was Claire who did a wonderful post about needing time and energy to simply think about writing...and how that fuels her actual writing sessions. Boy did I relate to the post at the time, but unfortunately, there wasn't much I could do to rectify my situation.

Well, I'm here to say for better or for worse... I'm trimming the fat... FINALLY.

I'm cutting back on my work hours...in a MAJOR way. I've been juggling two jobs for the past couple of years and I'm finally allowing myself to say ENOUGH already, and have given notice at one of them. It ends in a couple of weeks and I can't tell you how excited I am to have that 15-25 hours back. WHOOT.

And though I've enjoyed the time spent in Exercises at the forum, I'll no longer be officially running monthly X's. I've been so overwhelmed with real life stuff that my involvement has been fairly sketchy anyway. I've maybe been able to manage posting exercises, but commenting and active involvement has been near impossible. I've felt fairly guilty about that for the past few months, so stepping down is a good thing. Frees away that guilt when I want to write -- i.e. I want to write, but I should be commenting or participating in exercises instead. Yeah, it's been a constant cloud of guilt hovering above me. Well, the sun is finally coming out folks...and boy do I need the rays. :)

I think sometimes in this writing gig we're much, much too hard on ourselves. I used to churn out words like no tomorrow. An average day for me was 3K+ (and the average time spent writing a book? 2 months?)...and now I'm barely able to manage a couple hundred. That's if I manage to write at all. I've felt super guilty about it for a very long time. And that guilt only makes me do less because it tends to immobolize me -- I get into the mind frame that if I can't have a Jen-productive day, then it isn't worth it and I'm a complete failure.

Well, luckily I'm in a better position to cut back on work a bit. I know a lot of people aren't tho. And that's just a reality of life. I don't have kids either...and the mess of responsibilties that come along with trying to raise a family AND work full-time...or perhaps even more. And I definitely know how easy it is to let guilt overwhelm you.. how easy it is to get into the mindframe that I shouldn't write because I have too many other, more important things to do.

I'm here to say that's utter and total crap. Writing IS important because it's important to ME. It's important to YOU. So do it when you can. It may take a helluva lot of juggling and time management on your part, but if it's your dream, don't give up on it. Somehow you have to find a way. It may mean not having the extra money you want...or it may mean giving up some things you really love... but with those sacrifices, think of all that you'll gain.

I, for one, feel much better about myself when I'm actively writing... when I feel that sense of accomplishment of seeing the pages I've churned out each day. It puts me in a better mood, I have more energy because of it... all in all, a writing Jen = a Happy Jen.

I'm soooooo ready for Happy Jen again. And yanno what's great, at just the thought of freeing up all of this time, the ideas have already begun to churn up again. Crazy. But absolutely wonderful. :)

ETA: Kristen apologizes for missing her post yesterday. She was a bit under the weather, but hopefully will be on the mend soon. She'll catch you cats next week. :)

Holiday Reality-Check

It’s five in the afternoon and I’m sitting at the computer on another blistering, Aussie summer day, trying - without success - to think of something sage and coherent to blog about. It’s a disgusting 40C (104F) outside, which in my book warrants the ice-cold beer sitting within easy reach on my desk; plus, I was rather hoping the amber liquid would lubricate the wheels of my creativity. Sigh. No such luck. In this weather, all my mind can do is wander … in particular, to January and the holiday planned for my tribe and I.

At the last minute we were lucky enough to book eight days on a pristine stretch of beachfront on Kangaroo Island, a mere 45 minutes by ferry off the South Australian coast. Forget the palms and coconuts – a tropical paradise, it ain’t. But it’s just as beautiful, in a rugged, untouched wilderness kind of way. Like this:

Water, sun and sand … the perfect ingredients for a summer holiday.

And, although I’m sure none of my family will appreciate this fact, the very best part of this trip is that the booking includes a cleaner, who’ll come through and clean up our beach house after we leave! Oh, the bliss! So, for eight whole days, I will have very little to do in the way of housework (except maybe concocting a meal or two a day, and let me tell you, I’m working very hard at skipping out of that obligation!), and the kiddies will spend virtually all day, every day, on the beach - which all means I will have a lot of free time on my hands.

Now, how should I spend said time? Sleeping, novel reading, sipping champagne while watching the sun sink into the ocean … these all hit the top of my holiday “to-do” list. (g) But then again, I really should use that extra time to start revisions, shouldn’t I? It’d be kinda cool to sit beneath a beach umbrella, manuscript in hand, editing away …

In a word – NO.

Because I know that in reality, there really won’t be as many peaceful hours as I think. In reality, my family will at some point want to see mum, with her vampire-white legs, down on the beach building sandcastles with them (and mum actually really wants to do this – erm, not flash the eye-blinding skin, but muck around with the kiddies.) There will be day-trips, movie-nights, sleep-ins …

Sigh. I’ve done this before (and I’m sure I’m not alone); I see the holidays, with their lack of routine and the DH around a bit more to help with the kids, decide to use the extra time to tackle the writing, and then set my sights too high. During the holiday season, it is inevitable that real life will take over - as it should, IMO - and trying to achieve lofty writing goals only leaves me frustrated, not to mention extremely peeved at the people and/or situation cramping my writing-style.

No one wants the Grinch around at Christmas!

So, instead of diving into revisions, I think I'll finish reading through all the useful revision advice I’ve printed out from the Forum over the past few years; or maybe work through a bit of Don Maass’ Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook; or re-read a couple of books I want to study for their use of suspense and structure; or begin to sketch a rough synopsis … or simply daydream about my book and see what gems of inspiration the old subconscious may send up. Nothing *has* to be started; nothing *has* to be finished.

So, if you’re looking at your holidays and rubbing your hands with glee, desperate to get stuck into the writing now you actually have some time … I’d recommend you take a reality-check and make sure you’re not setting yourself up for disappointment.

Think about simply editing existing scenes, or doing rough sketches of new scenes, or reading a book on the craft of writing, or doing a bit of research on the net. Don’t abandon all writing related activities; just scale down your expectations and set goals that match your circumstances. You’ll feel good because you *will* achieve something; plus, your friends and family will like you a whole lot better when you’re not a seething mass of frustrated rage. (g)

So, how about you? What do you plan to do with your writing, with any extra time you have these holidays?

When routine becomes a rut

When I read Jen’s most excellent post this week, I had to smile. I’d already started on my own post, and what Jen wrote about so passionately – and truthfully - is the flip-side of what my post is about – when writing becomes such an all-consuming part of your life that you get stuck in a big old, creativity-squishing rut. (ETA – and I’ve just read Kristen’s post. LOL! What can I say? Great minds ….)

When my youngest child started school in August, I decided the time had come to get serious about writing; to roll up my sleeves and put in as much time as I could muster, just to see what I could actually do. I figured it’d also be good to test whether I could handle writing to a deadline, and so I self-imposed a December 31^st finish date for my MS. If – no, be positive Rachel - when I am published, deadlines will become a part of my writing life, the “I don’t feel like writing today” refrain just won’t cut it any more, and I had to see whether I could do it.

With all this in mind (and with the overwhelming need to just be finished with my bloody SFD) I began to devote every spare moment I could to writing (but note – “every spare moment” in reality translates to the windows of time when my kids are in school or asleep; the times when I’m not dashing to the shop because there’s nothing left to eat in the house; the times when I’m not reluctantly doing the cleaning so we don’t all die of some horrible bacterial infection ... that sort of thing. Oh, and I also have to sleep!)

So, since August my time has been allocated in this order of priorities – family, then writing, then exercise, and lastly (where it firmly belongs IMO), housework. On a rough average, I’d say that I’ve clocked about three hours of writing a day. Not stellar, but still, it’s a solid effort.

So, all’s good, right?

Erm, no.

The trouble is, I’ve become a bit of a hermit. No, a LOT of a hermit. If I didn’t go to the shops and make small talk with the cashier or have a five-minute chat with the other mums when collecting the offspring from school, I seriously would not speak to another adult all day. And the trouble with all this, as far as writing is concerned, is that while the imaginary world in my book may be fun to live in, not having a real life has led to a bit of a creative burn out. I’m close to being done with my SFD, but man, are these last few scenes coming hard. True, I’m writing some of the most difficult, climactic scenes in my book; but still, I’m sure that all this closeting away of myself has drained my creative well.

I hadn’t quite realised I’d got to this stage until last weekend, when my DH and I took off for a couple of days away in the Barossa Valley, one of Australia’s most beautiful wine growing regions. Ah, the hills covered with neatly ordered vines, the golden shimmer of just-browned-off grass, the strangers (some lovely, some kooky) we struck up conversations with in the wine tasting rooms, the smell of the cellars, like musty, wine-soaked cork … a chunk of my book is set in a wine growing region of France, and with all this real-life stimulation, my synapses were a-firing! Ideas for some of these harder scenes started to flow, and though time will tell whether they’re actually any good, the experience made me realize – man, I gotta get a life.

Now, a getaway like that is a rare occurrence, but it started me thinking about all the things I’d given up to focus on my writing, and whether I’d been a little too ruthless.

For example, I cut out my daily walks in favour of sessions in the gym, and at home on the exercise bike from hell (oh, how I loathe thee, damn bike!). The latter give me the same level of exercise as a walk, but much quicker, leaving more time free for writing … however, there’s something about being out in the fresh air and taking note of the world around me that would always fire off a zillion ideas for plot twists and character development in my head. This never happens when I’m flogging myself on that bloody bike, or in the gym.

TV is another activity that’s gone by the wayside. I virtually never watch it these days. But I remember how something like a really well-structured episode of Dr Who could inspire me to think about the shape of my own book, or how a really interesting and off the wall character in a movie would get me thinking “hmmm,” in a good way.

And then I started thinking about all the other things I could do, but I don't – like catching up with my girlfriends for coffee more than twice a year, ambling around the art gallery without the kids in tow for a change, exploring bits of my city I’ve never been to before … anything to feed my mind, so I have something to draw on for inspiration other than the four walls of my study. Because really, if we don’t get out in the real world and mix with all sorts of real people and have new adventures and experiences, how on earth can we, as writers, expect to fuel our creativity?

So that’s my challenge - to get back out in the world. Maybe not until the week after next, though. I still really *really* want to finish my SFD before the kids start their long summer holidays, but after that – watch out world!

What about you? What do you do to top up your well of creativity when it’s running dry?

I Got Nothing

So here I am, ready to do my blog post. Ah, what to blog about?

I throw my penny into the well of inspiration and hear…clink! Empty. (You can’t see this, but my cursor is blinking at me. Blinking. Come on, Kristen! I’m wai-ting…blink. Blink. Blink.)

It happens. Some may be more prolific than others, but all writers at some point or another find that their well has run dry. And what to do when it happens?

There is a theory (no, I don’t have the energy today to look up its origins, sorry) … a theory that says that by adapting to an hourly schedule, creating standardized time, we as a race severely quashed our creative energies. True? Debatable.

But the premise is this: creativity does not run on a clock. Nor is it constant. It ebbs and flows; ergo there are surges and dry spells. We, as creative beings, are not machines. Creativity is an organic thing. To try and tame it, force it to adhere to our industrialized schedule, is going against the tide. Of course, we as a human race just love that challenge and often try to bend nature as we like.

But what does it mean? Well, that there will be days like today when I won’t be at 100 per cent. Maybe not even 20 per cent. Yet the guilt that comes with that, the feeling of failure is brutal. Never mind that there are spells were I can churn out an average of 10,000 words a day for months on end. Here, on this day, when this stupid blinking cursor is yelling at me, is my shame.

An excellent piece of advice is to write every day. Regardless. You are a writer, so write. But what if I don’t want to? What if I only write once every two months? Am I not a writer? (This is the madness that goes on in my head –aren’t you happy to be here? (g) )

And just exactly what is it that makes one a writer anyway? [Work with me here, I tend to philosophize when dry]

When that inevitable small-talk question arises, “What do you do?” At what point do you find yourself able to say, with your head held high, “I am a writer.” ??

Is it when you’ve completed a book? I can’t imagine so. Some of the best writers I know haven’t yet finished their books. Conversely, some of the worst writing I’ve read has been in published books…

Is it when you have an agent? Published? Published multiple times?

I suspect this answer will be different for all of us. It’s too tied into our own insecurities. But I have to believe that there is a moment for all of us when a switch flicks in our soul, when we feel, know with complete confidence: yes! I am a writer.

And perhaps that is the point. Perhaps being a writer isn’t simply about the act itself, but the declaration as well. I think, therefore I am. Well, I am.

What about you? Have you reached that moment of knowing? And if so, what did it for you? Do you feel guilt about your dry days? Must you write every day to feel valid? Has my crazy-ass post confused you enough that you’ve missed that I’ve written about essentially nothing?

Please, talk amongst yourselves, I’ll be having some coffee.*



*Edited to add that as we do live in a schedulized world, I say we make the best of it. Writing every day with out fail is definitely one of the best ways to combat the dreaded dry spells. I'm just sayin' is all...

Walk the Walk

Many of you probably know that I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes last winter. For those of you who didn't know…Surprise! Ain't life grand? J

That said, I'm doing very well – and whatever shock the diagnosis brought about has pretty much worn off by now. Mostly. I'm still trying to get used to drinking diet soda (ick!), but if that's the least of my worries, life will be ALL good.

With the diagnosis came a huge wake-up call that I really needed to make some lifestyle changes. You see, even in my lowest moment of "why me's" I heard a firm voice of resolve from inside, constantly chanting: YOU WILL NOT SETTLE. Meaning, I would not settle for, nor rely upon my medication to do the work for me. If I had to drag myself out of bed each morning to exercise…if I had to avoid all fast food restaurants…if I had to guzzle down a gallon of water in order to quench my need for sugary goodness, then by God I would do it. It wasn't easy. Heck, it still isn't easy.

What I learned—very quickly—is that I couldn't rely on anyone but myself. I had choices—I could go on living/eating the way I was and risk future and/or worse health problems. I could play the blame game. I could cry and whine and bemoan the unfairness of it all. Or I could get off my duff and do something about it. Make changes that would see me on the road to better health. I chose the latter. It may be an uphill battle that I'll never win, but dang it…I'm going up that hill with fists raised and one snarky attitude that no one wants to mess with.

So, how does this relate to writing? Bear with me for a little while longer…I'm getting there.

One of the key ingredients to a life with diabetes is: ROUTINE.

Oh, gawd. I almost break into hives at the mere thought. But yes, routine. It's that simple…and that difficult.

Like a good diabetic (as one of my diabetic friends likes to call me), I try to eat right (craving fast food? Go somewhere that offers a side salad instead of French fries), exercise (the key to controlling blood sugars, imho. I walk every day, after every meal, and boy do I see it on my meter results), TRY to get plenty of rest (the one I'm most likely to fail at…on a daily basis), and track any changes I see in my readings over time—and adjust accordingly. The good news is that I'm having a VERY difficult time keeping my blood sugars UP at this point. Hopefully that means I can ditch the meds! WHOOT.

So, what happens when I have a bad day/few hours? Well, I don't call it a crap day and give up, that's fo sho. Doing that means high sugars that leave me with headaches, swollen feet, blurry vision, and just an overall case of ICKS that I do not want to deal with. When I feel like that, I don't slack, I push myself even harder. I get my butt moving, eat a completely carb-free meal, and/or guzzle a bunch of water. Because if one thing is true – no matter how high my blood sugars may spike sometimes, they WILL come down eventually.

Okay, I'm getting to how this relates to writing. You ready for it?

I've made HUGE adjustments to my lifestyle over the past year. I've developed a routine. Not because I HAD to. (You could say I had to, but ultimately that isn't what motivates a lot of people. Not me at any rate.) I did it because I want to live a LONG, healthy life…and I didn't want to feel like utter crap anymore. I did—for a long time. And as hard as it was to be diagnosed, it was also a HUGE blessing because I feel better than I have in YEARS.

So, the thing I'm realizing as I come out of this sort of funk, is that I need to take what I learned and apply it to my writing. My health was worth the changes I made, and you can sure as heck bet my writing is worth it too.

I've had to ask the really tough question: Am I doing everything I can to achieve my publication dreams?

Eh….NOT REALLY.

I fall prey to fast food FAR too many times. Instead of making sensible choices and sitting down to write when I have 10 minutes, I'll choose TV instead…or maybe a book. Whatever's quick and easy.

Instead of writing, I'll putter around on the net, checking blogs and sitting on my duff. All of that inactivity isn't getting my book written, though it's doing a great deal for my writer's spread.

I don't check in with myself enough. Am I writing at the optimum time of day/in the optimum place—when/where I can avoid distractions and am at my most alert? Probably not.

Am I scheduling time to write? NOPE. Am I writing each and every day? NOPE NOPE NOPE. If I have a crap morning, do I let it affect the rest of my day? YOU BETCHA.

Am I SETTLING? Yes. Yes, I am.

GAH.

My name is Jennifer Hendren and I am a slacker.

Phew. Glad that's out. I've felt like such a fraud!

So, bearing all of this in mind, I've done a little self-assessment:

1. My nifty little office is not the place to write. My neighbors are far too loud, and it's really the only room where I get a decent internet connection. If I go elsewhere, I'm more likely to actually write when I turn on the computer. Plus I won't be boiling mad at my neighbors all of the time. (Sigh, and my bookshelves are soooo pretty.)
   
2. I don't have much time to write at work—I'm walking during my breaks, etc. That said, I CAN read while I'm walking. If I plan ahead, I can bring in scenes to go over. Even if I'm unable to make changes/write during this time, I can at least get my head in the right space.
   
3. I must get out of the mind frame that I need a huge chunk of time to accomplish anything. I used to turn out 30K a month writing a couple of hours a day – a few minutes here, a few minutes there. Must relearn this! And I must learn not to hold myself to that standard for the rest of my life. It boils down to this: What time I have, I need to use.
   
4. Like my health, I need to make writing a PRIORITY. I need to schedule times to write…get into a routine of making time EVERY day. And I need to remember that even if I only manage 10 minutes of writing after a really crap day, it's still ten minutes. Still words I didn't have before.
   
5. I need to remember that moaning about my busy schedule is NOT going to fix things or make this book spring magically from my forehead—fully formed and ready for publication. I have to deal with the cards I've been dealt. Things will change eventually. Must remember that.
   
6. Slow and steady WILL get the job done. Maybe not as soon as you hope, but eventually. Major life changes don't happen overnight. When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, my blood sugars were through the roof. It took a LONG time for them to come down – they did so slowly, with lots of adjustments on my part, and even now, will flare up occasionally. But the important thing is that I'm now in a very healthy range. If I work toward my writing goals—even at a slow and steady pace--my book WILL be finished. IT WILL. Say it with me…IT WILL.
   

ROUTINE. I'm convinced this is the key. Let's all get in the habit, shall we?

My challenge to all of you is to figure out what's stopping you from reaching your writing goals? Feel free to share your issues and/or solutions here. Never know—you just might help someone struggling with the same problem.

Guilt by association

My daughter started school in August, and I’m gradually getting to meet the parents of the kids in her class. It’s a slower process this third time round, but I’m finding that they’re a lovely bunch of mainly mums, plus a couple of dads, who do the dropping-off and picking-up of their offspring each day. I’ve hit it off with one mum in particular. Like me, she has three kids and, like me, her husband is away a lot of the time, leaving her to run the show on her own.

But there’s a bit of a problem. She’s so lovely with her kids, so calm and unflappable, she makes me feel … well, guilty. For example – one morning, she was worried because she and her eldest daughter had argued just as the kids spilled out of the car, and she hadn’t had time to smooth things over with her.

“I think I’ll drop a note in her locker to say I hope she has a great day, and that I love her,” she said.

Well, didn’t I feel about two-inches tall. My kids routinely leave the car screaming/yelling/arguing/debating with me and/or each other. Nothing diabolical, but we’re a fiery lot, and that’s just how things run, chez Walsh. But her approach – well, I found myself nodding sagely, yet feeling kind of … guilty. And she manages to maintain this serenity with a husband who spends only one week out of every four at home. Like I said, she’s lovely; but I tend to feel like Charles Manson in her company.

Until yesterday. I arrived at school in time to witness her absolutely blow her stack at her son for forgetting his violin. She was going home to get it for him (I would have waved bye-bye and said “suffer the consequences” to my little darlings) but still, it was the first time I’d seen that serenity crack. And then, after the school bell went, and before she trekked home for the forgotten instrument, she unloaded for a moment, saying how hard it was keeping the show on the road on her own, and that she just couldn’t wait to get the kids in bed each night so she could have a few moments to herself.

That’s when the penny dropped. She wasn’t making me feel guilty; I was giving myself the guilts, by so stupidly measuring myself against her. Assuming she had everything down pat, that there were no bumps and potholes in her life, was what made me feel bad, when in reality, her struggles are the same as everyone else’s.

Measuring yourself against others is as much of a hazard in this writing life, too.

Why can’t I write as fast as him?

My dialogue sucks compared to hers.

Ah, why didn’t I think of that turn of phrase?

His characters are so much more alive than the boring wooden dummies that inhabit my story!

Sound familiar?

Some look at other writers and are jealous of their writing progress and success; I’m more the type to beat myself up for not keeping up, telling myself I’m too lazy, too slow, too untalented, too unmotivated, and that everyone else is doing way better than me.

How stupid.

Measuring myself against other writers, expecting that I should have the same writing journey as others, is as ridiculous as expecting everyone to love pad thai noodles, or to have brown hair, or to be willing to sell their first-borns for front row tickets to a U2 concert. (Ahem.)

How counter-productive it is, to expend all that energy on all that hand-wringing! Not to mention being a big, fat damper on one’s creativity. All I need to measure is how things are with me. And to realize that the pace at which I write is unique to me, that my learning curve is unique to me – that my writing journey is unique to me.

Bottom line, I have to accept “what is”, while always striving to do my best. It’s all a person can do, really.

But I just might try screaming at my kids a little less. (g)

What about you? Do you measure yourself against fellow writers? Do you feel guilty? Jealous? Sorry for the poor suckers who are so far behind you, it’s not funny? (g) Or have you reached Nirvana and none of this phases you one little bit?