Friday, April 1, 2011

Special Announcement

We interrupt our normal blogging schedule to bring you an announcement.

We ladies at ATWOP have been talking and it has been decided: Writing is just too hard -what the heck is a tight plot, anyway? Editing stinks. Finding an agent is a myth -are they even real?!? Getting published is a nightmare, really, some of those editors eat people for breakfast. Rachel has done investigative research on this, people! Where do you think she gets the inspiration for those gruesome murder scenes? Even now good authors have gone missing!! (please report if you have seen any dazed and confused looking writers walking about in your area. Their families are worried!)

So screw it. We are out of here!

Instead, we've decided to focus our energy on something much easier. Stardom. Yes, we've decided to become Hollywood stars. Claire was kind enough to put together a twenty-five point plan. First step, (part a, sub heading g), acting lessons. You may now find us here (we thought we'd start at the small).

Step two: The funny. Yes, good stars are witty. And really, we don't want to be serious actors. We want STARDOM!! Therefore, Jen is headed out to audition for the Laugh Factory. We have high hopes. HIGH hopes, Jen. Do NOT come home until you succeed. No excuses! Remember, Susan is waiting and she's learned a lot of nifty combat tricks should we need to teach you a lesson. (She also has ways of making people talk -trust me. Shudder)

Lastly, hair and makeup. I've been watching episodes of What Not to Wear (wait, you mean fitted clothes make you look slimmer!) and Rupaul's Drag Race (You can't imagine how many victims from the first show end up on the second!). I hope to have a definite look put together for all of us in a few weeks. Okay, maybe a few months. Image takes time.

At any rate, this is all to say goodbye vacant expressions, and coffee stained teeth, hello manicured nails and restful nights. Goodbye and happy April Fools Day! :)


  1. Editing stinks, amen to that! I hope there're lots of late night parties and drinks involved in this Hollywood blitz [g]

  2. >wait, you mean fitted clothes make you look slimmer!

    pshh, who needs clothes fitted to every lump and bump?

  3. Lol. I say nevermind April Fool's, reach for the stars. You can do it! I'll keep an eye out for you drunk in the street on E!

    Good luck!

  4. You know, stardom might just be easier than writing... only problem is, I can't do it in my pajamas with uncombed hair and coffee cake crumbs on the keyboard.

    Writing has its benefits!

    Happy April Fool's Day everyone!

  5. OMG! I'm in on this scheme! What production needs a salt-and-pepper, slightly dumpy, middle aged, retired teacher? There have to be some parts out there for me! Besides, I'm with Deniz--editing is the pits!

  6. HAHA, when you're big stars don't forget us ok?!