Crap-tastic!

Now, I don't say this very often. Even now, I cringe at the thought of actually typing these words for the viewing world to see. But, it must be done. Remember that YA novel I blogged about last week? Well, I've managed to get a few more chapters into it, and I would now like to say it loud and clear for the whole world to hear:

People who like this book have had the cheese knocked off their crackers.

There. I said it. And yeah, it's not even close to how cringe-worthy my actual thoughts are on the matter. That said, the sentiment is the same.

I. Don't. Get. Why. This. Book. Sold.

To an agent. To a publisher. To the reading public.

It's CRAP-TASTIC!

It's a study of what NOT to do in a novel. It's a study of how to NOT get your readers to give two wits about your characters. It's a study of how to have a tangle of "moments" that are supposed to move the reader but in reality serve to hide the fact that there is absolutely NO plot.

WTF is this disaster before my eyes? I want to get off this train post haste. I want to bury my copy in a deep hole so no one else will stumble upon it and be subjected to this torture.

That said, I. Cannot. Turn. Away.

**Pause for clarification**

Despite the fact that I want to continue reading, there isn't a single good thing about that statement. It's not a matter of hoping it gets better at this point... not 250+ pages in... it's a matter of needing to know how truly bad it gets.

Case in point...

*cough* Now, I really don't want to disclose which book this is. Seriously. I'd feel bad for blasting it so egregiously. That said, some of you might guess. Especially if you've read this scene. It's one in a million.

For the sake of explanation, let's say there are monsters in this book. What kind doesn't matter. Monsters. And these monsters attack regular ole' humans and make them into monsters, too. One such monster was made, and her brother has set out to figure out what happened to her. Enter the hero and heroine. Hero is a monster, too, btw, and he's hiding out at heroine's house. The pair KNOW what happened to this guy's sister, so they meet to explain it all.

And wtf.. they decide to make a pizza while they explain. And turn on the music, too. They need to get their groove on for this pizza party. Hell, I know it's a heavy subject figuring out if this guy's sister is dead or alive, but holy smokes... a really good song just came on the radio. Hero and heroine REALLY like this song and decide to have an impromptu grinding session in the middle of the kitchen. I mean, why the hell not??

*cue the end of the song* Now...now it's back to business and back to their sombre moods. As sombre as they get, that is.. which is just shy of boinking on the kitchen counter.

*BLINK*

Seriously, PEOPLE. WTF??

I wish I could say this is but a bump in an otherwise smooth road. It is not. This is merely one example of how truly bad this book is. I'm rendered speechless by it. (Figuratively)

If you take anything away from this, know that real crap can sell. It's disturbing, confusing, and just plain ole' scary on just about every level, but it's true.

There is hope for us all. Remember that.

That said, I'd like to give teenagers more credit than this author seems to be. Yes, teenagers are mildly *cough* interested in sex and relationships. But they're not automatons who have sex and ONLY sex on their minds. That's what this book is. It's the hero and heroine goggling at each other Every. Friggin'. Minute. Of. The. Day. And when needed, an important tidbit will come up between glances at each other's butts. Gah. It's a waste of good ink and paper.

Yeah, I'm done now. There's no real point. Just general whinging.

That is all.